Wow. Your ex sounds a lot like my wasband. We also split in fall 2020. Weird, but true. You sound like you've not only survived, but thrived and I'd like to believe I have as well. Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom. Keep writing and I know I'll keep reading.
Omg Anne! I’m cracking up, thought that was a spelling mistake there for a second! WAS-band? Is that a thing? If not please make it a thing! There’s nothing left for us to do, BUT thrive! XOXO thank you for the laugh I needed it most of all after publishing this one. ❤️❤️
Wonderful writing here, Kristin. What really resonates is the soul searching and the transformative power of the language to find an inner freedom. Love it. Profound, my friend.
Thank you my friend. I’ve loved words since I was a child. I remember having a very battered thesaurus actually! The good old days when you had to actually peruse a book before you chose the perfect word that matched the feeling.
Likewise. I still have my thesaurus from the 5th grade book fair. I had a bugs bunny stamp that I put on the inside cover and signed my name in cursive. You can see how that set me on the course I’m still on today with Critters. So fun to have this reference book in common!
Wow - this is quite an eye opener. You write this in a way that I feel like I’m in the room experiencing what you did. It does take me back to a time that leaves me feeling very bitter and turned me from a true people person to a cranky old bastard. Someone who has become basically antisocial and very solitude. I see your strength in how you handled your situation. What I have not been able to do recently is what you have done and it’s simply said “I am me” and (other than your kids) I am about me. That’s a bold statement and definitely something to strive for. Part of that being me for you is the nurse. That is what defines who you are.
I will tend to disagree with you a bit in that your son’s teacher was looking for an answer from “how do you do it”. She may have really been asking “how do I look at your son everyday and move ahead without constantly seeing my son and thinking of the tragedy ?” Or, more simply, how do I cope ? What can I do to have your strength and fortitude ?
Oh also one of my spiritual gurus, an actual one told me to just keep repeating your own name. My divorce was delayed for a long time, for a few reasons due to the pandemic . I was so pissed I changed my name actually but had always kept the name I shared with my children because I told them we would always be a family. Again my choice . In 2022 I finally retuned to my maiden name which I hadn’t used since 1999 and well here we are ! Good luck hope it helps
Maybe and there’s the magic. I’ve been waiting for your comment and had a feeling I would not offend you. I’m off on a little trip so thank you. I have no idea what her question was honestly she broke my heart because I worked with mothers who lost children all the time back then. Still do , we all have a mother. Not always a nice one unfortunately. I don’t know your question either unless you share it and I never want anyone to share unwillingly. I only know this Ken, you’re allowed to think I’m an angel 😇
Carry on and be grumpy too! Now I see you as a dwarf 😂
You say you’re a bitch and I say I’m grumpy. Both on the same page. Both dealing with the public and government bs, among other nonsense life offers. I guess I’m just trying to say I understand where you’re at without talking down or coming off as lecturing. I was actually a little concerned about offending you. We must definitely be on the same page. 😉
.. some of us seem to have ‘extra channels Kristin.. or mebbe just ‘One Extra WideBand’ - ‘way of being’ - my Big sis & i were ‘gifted readers - very early on - or mebbe just recognized that ‘reading could take us somewhere more interesting .. & Curiosity found fertile soil.. & things ‘went from there.. like ‘things tend to do eh ! My big sis was able to ‘direct things effectively - whereas i excelled at ‘daydreaming & wanted to draw race cars & hockey goalies
I get the impression somehow - that you’re somewhere in the ‘spectrum - way closer to my sis Ellen than myself .. but now coming more toward the ‘creative or ‘expressive side of life & this - after still knocking it out of the park as Mom & Healer .. Meanwhile - i’m trying to do the complete opposite .. & discipline my out of control creative side into ‘effective or ‘best practices - at 72 haha..
I keep mentioning that ‘Fact can be Stranger than Fiction - because it’s my belief & experience that ‘it’s true ! Trust me on this simple observation - there are many ‘writer’s here - who’s ’Lives are Financial & Accomplished success stories - but seem trapped in how MUNDANE .. their lives really are .. My impression is - you’re a Perfect Storm .. seeking ‘shelter from the storm.. & that’s OK..
so take it easy on yourself - pax vobiscum - let it come to you .. it’s gonna do it anyway eh ! 🦎🏴☠️
PS .. the Oregon Twins - ‘resolving further today - & how best to present or introduce them
Another powerful read, as many of the others have been.
I’ve also heard the words “I don’t know how you do it” and I’ve begun to recognize that the intention behind them is a bit of awe, a sprinkle of respect and a whole bunch of I love you, and the shock of I don’t know what to say.
I’m now trying to respond to the intention (when it is someone I love who says it) and I say something along the lines of “I’m glad that you care.” Or “thank you for respecting what I do”.
The truth is that we do things, as you have said, because it is who we are.
Thank you, I may try to use your response and see how it lands. I realized with my son’s teacher that day that she didn’t want the answer, simply paid her respect. I knew what happened to her son, the whole town did and I couldn’t crack a joke or tell her I was an angel. I’ll usually say nothing when I can’t be honest. Something I also have to do at work. It’s part rejection of this career spilling over , but the thing is I’m not sorry it did. It made me more honest, more kind and softer in real life. I am not soft at work, you can’t be in a Trauma ICU, you’ll be eaten alive by more than one predator.
I love that you help unpack the mystery with me here. I give a lot of credit to the therapy I have always incorporated into my own care plan.
I’m right there with you when encountering people who don’t want the true answers. I’m not certain that my ideas about how to respond to the very odd ‘I don’t know how you do it’ statements. Sometimes it hurts and annoys me so I’m simply silent.
Thanks Kristin, another engaging read which takes us into the emotional landscape of your work, how you manage that self and then to the tenderness and gratitude you hold for your children and the who of all you are … a free and beautiful soul. Bet your kids are proud of you 🥰
I bet you heard the scream I let out in my car yesterday all the way in NZ. Thank you. It felt great by the way. It also feels good to feel seen and understood here, especially by you. 😘
Yes … a good scream is welcomed by the body as a release of ‘other’ energy that comes with our life … so good for you. I hope you are having a gentler day today 💜. Thank you too for seeing and understanding me 😊. BTW, l am in AUS … NZ is just across the ditch … no problem there though… l love NZ, heading there for a week in November to visit a couple of Kiwi mates ❤️
You're so much fun Kristin. 🥰 "The Ditch" is the short stretch of water between NZ and Aus. I am not sure of it's origins though I suspect it might be a war metaphor ... as in the trenches of WWI. the ANZAC legend is from that war and stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps ... so once you know, let me know🤣
Oh hmm where did I get NZ from? Who knows I said your accent sounded like Princess Di to my ears so my apologies and what do I know. Lol
Yes the scream was so welcome!! I said I bet Simone heard this and not long after I noticed you left me a comment. Today is already much gentler, a holiday here in the US- Labor Day to celebrate the workers and I’m not at work so I ❤️ it
Oh this was such a powerful read, Kristin. And I’m smiling at the Wizard of Oz reference- that film has had a huge impact on my life! I’m wishing you a wonderful September 🌈✨
Thank you Trudi. Amazing how we read each other’s very different words yet understand on a mother level. I hope you’ve seen Wicked? It’s my favorite broadway show. Definitely another side to our favorite story. The Wicked Witch really wasn’t that wicked at all, she just let everyone believe she was. 💚💚
That's some heavy stuff, Kristin, and not a job for everyone. You're very caring. Good writing.
Thank you C.J. ❤️
You’re welcome.
Wow. Your ex sounds a lot like my wasband. We also split in fall 2020. Weird, but true. You sound like you've not only survived, but thrived and I'd like to believe I have as well. Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom. Keep writing and I know I'll keep reading.
Omg Anne! I’m cracking up, thought that was a spelling mistake there for a second! WAS-band? Is that a thing? If not please make it a thing! There’s nothing left for us to do, BUT thrive! XOXO thank you for the laugh I needed it most of all after publishing this one. ❤️❤️
Wonderful writing here, Kristin. What really resonates is the soul searching and the transformative power of the language to find an inner freedom. Love it. Profound, my friend.
Thank you my friend. I’ve loved words since I was a child. I remember having a very battered thesaurus actually! The good old days when you had to actually peruse a book before you chose the perfect word that matched the feeling.
Take me back! lol 💗
Likewise. I still have my thesaurus from the 5th grade book fair. I had a bugs bunny stamp that I put on the inside cover and signed my name in cursive. You can see how that set me on the course I’m still on today with Critters. So fun to have this reference book in common!
Truly! Oh the Book Fair days! I used to volunteer at my kids school to set up the Book Fair. I don’t recommend it actually was a ton of work. lol
My thesaurus had a blue cover, maybe have been MW, but not sure 🤔
My copy has an orange cover. I have it along with my copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth. Gotta luv it!
Wow - this is quite an eye opener. You write this in a way that I feel like I’m in the room experiencing what you did. It does take me back to a time that leaves me feeling very bitter and turned me from a true people person to a cranky old bastard. Someone who has become basically antisocial and very solitude. I see your strength in how you handled your situation. What I have not been able to do recently is what you have done and it’s simply said “I am me” and (other than your kids) I am about me. That’s a bold statement and definitely something to strive for. Part of that being me for you is the nurse. That is what defines who you are.
I will tend to disagree with you a bit in that your son’s teacher was looking for an answer from “how do you do it”. She may have really been asking “how do I look at your son everyday and move ahead without constantly seeing my son and thinking of the tragedy ?” Or, more simply, how do I cope ? What can I do to have your strength and fortitude ?
Oh also one of my spiritual gurus, an actual one told me to just keep repeating your own name. My divorce was delayed for a long time, for a few reasons due to the pandemic . I was so pissed I changed my name actually but had always kept the name I shared with my children because I told them we would always be a family. Again my choice . In 2022 I finally retuned to my maiden name which I hadn’t used since 1999 and well here we are ! Good luck hope it helps
Maybe and there’s the magic. I’ve been waiting for your comment and had a feeling I would not offend you. I’m off on a little trip so thank you. I have no idea what her question was honestly she broke my heart because I worked with mothers who lost children all the time back then. Still do , we all have a mother. Not always a nice one unfortunately. I don’t know your question either unless you share it and I never want anyone to share unwillingly. I only know this Ken, you’re allowed to think I’m an angel 😇
Carry on and be grumpy too! Now I see you as a dwarf 😂
In the fairytale sense of course
You say you’re a bitch and I say I’m grumpy. Both on the same page. Both dealing with the public and government bs, among other nonsense life offers. I guess I’m just trying to say I understand where you’re at without talking down or coming off as lecturing. I was actually a little concerned about offending you. We must definitely be on the same page. 😉
Haha it is almost impossible to offend me with a question! Bitch please. I get questioned all day every day. Helps to know who I am actually p🙏🏻
.. some of us seem to have ‘extra channels Kristin.. or mebbe just ‘One Extra WideBand’ - ‘way of being’ - my Big sis & i were ‘gifted readers - very early on - or mebbe just recognized that ‘reading could take us somewhere more interesting .. & Curiosity found fertile soil.. & things ‘went from there.. like ‘things tend to do eh ! My big sis was able to ‘direct things effectively - whereas i excelled at ‘daydreaming & wanted to draw race cars & hockey goalies
I get the impression somehow - that you’re somewhere in the ‘spectrum - way closer to my sis Ellen than myself .. but now coming more toward the ‘creative or ‘expressive side of life & this - after still knocking it out of the park as Mom & Healer .. Meanwhile - i’m trying to do the complete opposite .. & discipline my out of control creative side into ‘effective or ‘best practices - at 72 haha..
I keep mentioning that ‘Fact can be Stranger than Fiction - because it’s my belief & experience that ‘it’s true ! Trust me on this simple observation - there are many ‘writer’s here - who’s ’Lives are Financial & Accomplished success stories - but seem trapped in how MUNDANE .. their lives really are .. My impression is - you’re a Perfect Storm .. seeking ‘shelter from the storm.. & that’s OK..
so take it easy on yourself - pax vobiscum - let it come to you .. it’s gonna do it anyway eh ! 🦎🏴☠️
PS .. the Oregon Twins - ‘resolving further today - & how best to present or introduce them
Ohhh a lot to unpack here . Thanks Thomas I’ll come back to this after the holiday.. the nurse is off for just a few more days!
PS love the analogy the perfect storm, just saw Twister last week and loved it! And I typically don’t love new movies! 🤔
Another powerful read, as many of the others have been.
I’ve also heard the words “I don’t know how you do it” and I’ve begun to recognize that the intention behind them is a bit of awe, a sprinkle of respect and a whole bunch of I love you, and the shock of I don’t know what to say.
I’m now trying to respond to the intention (when it is someone I love who says it) and I say something along the lines of “I’m glad that you care.” Or “thank you for respecting what I do”.
The truth is that we do things, as you have said, because it is who we are.
Thank you, I may try to use your response and see how it lands. I realized with my son’s teacher that day that she didn’t want the answer, simply paid her respect. I knew what happened to her son, the whole town did and I couldn’t crack a joke or tell her I was an angel. I’ll usually say nothing when I can’t be honest. Something I also have to do at work. It’s part rejection of this career spilling over , but the thing is I’m not sorry it did. It made me more honest, more kind and softer in real life. I am not soft at work, you can’t be in a Trauma ICU, you’ll be eaten alive by more than one predator.
I love that you help unpack the mystery with me here. I give a lot of credit to the therapy I have always incorporated into my own care plan.
❤️🙏🏻
I’m right there with you when encountering people who don’t want the true answers. I’m not certain that my ideas about how to respond to the very odd ‘I don’t know how you do it’ statements. Sometimes it hurts and annoys me so I’m simply silent.
Thanks Kristin, another engaging read which takes us into the emotional landscape of your work, how you manage that self and then to the tenderness and gratitude you hold for your children and the who of all you are … a free and beautiful soul. Bet your kids are proud of you 🥰
I bet you heard the scream I let out in my car yesterday all the way in NZ. Thank you. It felt great by the way. It also feels good to feel seen and understood here, especially by you. 😘
Yes … a good scream is welcomed by the body as a release of ‘other’ energy that comes with our life … so good for you. I hope you are having a gentler day today 💜. Thank you too for seeing and understanding me 😊. BTW, l am in AUS … NZ is just across the ditch … no problem there though… l love NZ, heading there for a week in November to visit a couple of Kiwi mates ❤️
Haha! Ditto! I always felt like I should have been Australian. Part nurse part prisoner .. is it true what they say or just legend ? 🤔
You probably were Australian in another life time reality. ♥️. We have all been everywhere, all at once. Wonder why l love Americana music 🎶😂🎶👌
Also now I have to look up what the ditch is and add it the Simone vocabulary list 😘
You're so much fun Kristin. 🥰 "The Ditch" is the short stretch of water between NZ and Aus. I am not sure of it's origins though I suspect it might be a war metaphor ... as in the trenches of WWI. the ANZAC legend is from that war and stands for Australian and New Zealand Army Corps ... so once you know, let me know🤣
Oh hmm where did I get NZ from? Who knows I said your accent sounded like Princess Di to my ears so my apologies and what do I know. Lol
Yes the scream was so welcome!! I said I bet Simone heard this and not long after I noticed you left me a comment. Today is already much gentler, a holiday here in the US- Labor Day to celebrate the workers and I’m not at work so I ❤️ it
Please ... no apologies 🙏. I feel the screams in the wind. Happy Labour Day, we celebrate it in March here.💜
Oh this was such a powerful read, Kristin. And I’m smiling at the Wizard of Oz reference- that film has had a huge impact on my life! I’m wishing you a wonderful September 🌈✨
Thank you Trudi. Amazing how we read each other’s very different words yet understand on a mother level. I hope you’ve seen Wicked? It’s my favorite broadway show. Definitely another side to our favorite story. The Wicked Witch really wasn’t that wicked at all, she just let everyone believe she was. 💚💚
Yes! I loved it. A great show!